Whatever your branch of service, and if you’ve experienced, are experiencing or are about to experience the distance caused by your spouse’s deployment, this blog article is for you. In the wake of your significant other’s long-term absence, a lot is going on - both in life and in the mind. Children, if applicable, are growing and changing. Important happenings are occurring that you would love to be able to share – in person. You’re happy, sad, lonely, excited and frustrated. You may have accepted there will be no more hugs or kisses. Intimacy is definitely out the window and a good face to face conversation will be, or is now, a thing of the past.
Don’t let the ebb and flow of a deployment drag your relationship under. There are ways to combat the negativity and keep your marriage on the right path when your spouse is gone.
COMMUNICATION: Whether it’s via email, phone or letters, you have to remember to communicate. If you’re having a hard day, or week, be open and honest about it. Don’t keep things bottled up inside. Let it out! Your spouse is your best friend right now and they need to hear these things almost as badly as you need to dispel them. Leave no pressing subject unrevealed. Even if they don’t ask, please, still tell. Resentment could build if this is not taken care of properly. Everyone will deal with the distance in their own way, but communicating your life and current needs is very important.
STAY POSITIVE: Even if you don’t feel positive, act like it. The above-mentioned communication is a must, but trying to remain positive is really the key. When you get to talk to your spouse, and if nothing terribly important needs to be addressed, tell them about your day; what you did or where you went. Recall funny instances with your children or pets. Talk about friends, family or someone new and interesting you met. Keep the brave face on. It is just as important for your significant other to know you’re having a bad day as it is for them to know you’re also okay. Mastering the technique of balancing positive communication and pressing issues will be hard, but it must be done.
CARE PACKAGES: With an array of care packages to choose from on the Internet, there should be no shortage in sending these. Put your own spin on one and have fun putting it all together. Pick a date each month you want to send one out and think of how excited your spouse will be to receive it.
PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES: How would you think or feel if you were the one who had to be completely separated from family and friends? Okay, so some days your significant other isn’t the best conversationalist; they only want to discuss work and they don’t even ask about your day. They seem distant or disconnected. Or perhaps they’re even a bit clingy. Either way, take a frustrated step back and try to imagine how you might be handling the distance from their perspective.
REMEMBER, YOU LOVE EACH OTHER: Don’t forget, there is a reason you both are doing this. There is a reason you both signed on. You knew your love had no bounds and that no amount of distance or time could ever truly separate you. Is this one of the hardest things you’ve ever done? Yes, it is. Does the distance and longevity test you mentally on a daily basis? Of course it does. But of all the things listed, this one is the most important. Because no matter how hard or vexing this has been, you must always remember you love each other.
Written by Sarah Shepherd
Sarah is a proud Navy wife and stay at home mom. She enjoys writing freelance articles in her spare time and composes writings on a variety of subjects.